There’s a memory from elementary school that haunted me all the way into my twenties. I’d ended up on the wrong side of the school bullies, who had turned the entire grade against me. In this particular memory, I was on the playground surrounded by 30-40 boys who were pushing me, punching me, spitting on me, and throwing basketballs at me. I had very few allies, nobody willing to step up and defend me, and this realization hurt me as much as the attack itself.
Years of these experiences left me with a fear of rejection so deep that I’d rather fail than put myself out there. Even ten years on, the very thought was enough to create physical pain throughout my entire body. Give a presentation? Nope. Make a sales pitch? Not a chance! And ask a girl out?! Not in a million years! I was certain I’d be humiliated or rejected, and I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Like most of us, you’ve probably faced some rejection in your life, too. If so, you know there’s just no sugar-coating it — rejection sucks. It’s one of the most agonizing feelings we can experience, and it can instill in us a fear so profound that it can change the course of our lives. But why?
Why does rejection hold so much power over us?
In evolutionary terms, being part of a tribe gave us access to food, shelter, mates, social contact, and protection. Getting kicked out of the group would usually be a death sentence, so we developed an intense aversion to being rejected. The possibility would trigger a shame response, which was essentially your brain telling you to knock off whatever antisocial thing you were doing before the tribe showed you the cave door.
What does that mean for us today?
It’s thought that because of those life-or-death implications, we’re programmed to feel rejection and shame much more intensely than other negative emotions. Some people, like my younger self, even experience it as physically painful. According to science, that’s because it is!
Your brain experiences rejection in exactly the same way as physical pain. Like any pain, your brain is wired to make you avoid the source at all costs. So let’s say somebody turns you down for a date. You feel the sting of rejection, and your brain connects this with asking somebody out. The next time you meet somebody you like and think about asking them on a date, your brain says STOP! This will cause you pain — don't do it!
The same thing can happen when a partner cheats on you, or a friend rejects you, or you lose your job. The memory of those painful emotions can make you reluctant to put yourself out there in future. Like me, you might miss out on great opportunities because you’re scared to to take a chance. You might find yourself in unhealthy relationships, where you’re scared to express your boundaries for fear you’ll be rejected. You might find yourself lonely, frustrated, and depressed.
What can you do about it?
Rejection cuts us deeply and it can sometimes feel impossible to overcome. I tried countless self-help techniques as I fought to undo the damage of my childhood experiences. Unfortunately, no amount of work could erase the memory of feeling so ashamed and alone. It wasn’t until I discovered neurolinguistic programming (NLP) and hypnosis that I had an epiphany.
You see, rejection burrows deep into your psyche and affects you on a fundamental level. I realized that to truly overcome it and set myself free, I had to meet it where it lived — in my subconscious. NLP and hypnosis offered me an opportunity to explore those deep levels of my mind that I had never before been able to access. Here, I was able to make real changes.
The Superhero Technique
Today, I teach other people to use the NLP and hypnosis techniques that helped me to overcome my fear of rejection. One of my favorites is the superhero technique, a powerful exercise that helps you to face the risk of rejection with unshakeable strength and resilience.
Imagine how unstoppable you’d feel with your own personal superhero! A strong, powerful, undefeatable force that fears nothing and nobody. They’re with you 24/7, and when things get rough, they have your back. With your favorite superhero behind you, you’re capable of getting anything you desire.
There’s just one problem, you say. I don’t have Superman’s number and uhh, I hear he’s kinda busy…
True! But with this technique, you can feel as strong and powerful as if he were right there with you.
With this super hero technique I will virtually implant your favourite superhero into your subconscious mind so that you always feel as though your superhero has your back!
Just imagine what that could do for your life…
My Superhero session is about going deep into your subconscious and rooting out those feelings of fear, shame, and powerlessness. Without them holding you back, you’ll discover the strength you need to face the risk of rejection.
Perhaps more importantly, you’ll find the strength to cope even when you are rejected, because hey, sometimes it’s a fact of life. Even superheroes can’t win all the time, but imagine where Gotham City would be if Batman threw in the towel at the first sign of trouble! Being truly immune to rejection means being able to bounce back from it, too.
What would a fearless life look like for you?
Maybe you have an incredible, life-changing business idea, but you’ve talked yourself out of making it happen. Maybe you’ve always admired someone from afar, but the thought of being rejected by them was too much to take. Maybe you’re lonely and you’d love to go out and meet new people, but you’re convinced nobody would want to be friends with you.
I’ve felt all of these things and more, and I promise you that they can be overcome! You won’t believe how good life can be when you’re no longer bound by what others think of you. When you no longer fear rejection, you take the chances necessary to achieve great things. And with your own personal superhero by your side, you really can’t lose!
Ready to channel your inner superhero?
My membership site, Limitless, features the Superhero session and over 100 other recordings, based on a powerful combination of hypnosis, meditation and visualization. In these recordings, you’ll learn to overcome the fear of rejection and discover how to live the life you truly deserve.
You can try Limitless now! Simply click on the button below to start your membership today.